Confidence was something I lacked greatly growing up. Why? Well It started to decrease somewhere between the teasing of my weight in middle school, and the bullying I received in my first two years of high school. It was traumatic, it made me hate socializing and I began to hate school. When I began my junior year, I began taking capoeira, which is Brazilian martial arts. I focused all of my anger and frustration into that, slowly it became an outlet of mine. Now that I think back to it I am kind of happy that I was bullied, without it I wouldn't be who I am today. Now I am not as quiet, I speak my mind and I say everything to your face. I am more outgoing, and to be frank I could care less what anyone thinks about me, as long as you don't get in my way I will not get in yours. Having this type of attitude caused a lot of bumps in my life. I lost plenty of "friends", because of it. All they worried about was what someone else thought about them. My whole life was based on that, and I was tired of it!
I was raised in a strict Christian home. All of my female cousins were taught to speak when spoken to, and ultimately be a lady. With that said, I never felt I was good enough. My grandparents raised me, and my mother supported me and saw me when work didn't get in the way. My grandmother would always praise my older cousins for their artistic or educational achievements. My mother seemed to overlook me, and only focused on telling me to be like them, or to fix something on me. I was the youngest of the 8 cousins, and I thought that if I got better, if I was perfect, my grandmother would start to praise me. I believed my mother would take time for me, if I was smarter. When I got older I realized that wasn't the case. My cousins were there own persons, and you can never be someone else only their shadow. I went my own way. Focusing my time on dance and science in my later senior year of high school, it earned me an opportunity to take college classes my senior year. Which is why I am considered a junior in Hunter and almost done with my BA degree at 19. I am happy with the person I am and who I am becoming, and that's all that matters.
Feel free to see my life: