Breaking the barriers!
I remember one day in school when I was in the third grade. It was just an ordinary day in school; I didn’t recall why my mom put a white lacy dress on me, but I recollect why I felt weird- because no one dressed like me in school. As soon as I got to school, I realized I was dressed “inappropriate”, I started feeling anxious and at the end of the day I cried like a baby. I felt I was different (in a weird way) with other girls in the classroom, and felt shame and embarrass by hearing the classmates making fun of me. In their perspective I was an oddball who loves princess costume (at that time I wore whatever what my mom dressed me, and she loved to dress me in romantic flowery dresses, or skirts that rippling with feminine ruffles and flounces). I was mad at my mom for dressing me like that, and put me into a situation like that. That was the first time I was fully aware of the importance of appearance and other’s viewpoint.
Since then, I felt really uncomfortable being in the spotlight, and people talking about me behind my back, and since then, I’ve tried very hard to stay in the crowd and not to stand out (and not to vocalize my thoughts). The culture I grew up is dominated by group culture; most of the time individual value is ignored for the interests and needs of the majority of the people. I am no exception- like mingling in the crowds, I feel much more comfortable with being a mass audience. In other words, I chose to become (or trained to be) a good media consumer rather a media maker or creator.
Yes, I am not proud that I was born and raised in such circumstance. I’ve had problem distinguishing or detach myself from others; I couldn’t define myself as an individual entity. But, most of the time I feel relieved that I am one of majority of the group, and not a black sheep among the people.
Growing up in a sequestered small town in Korea, my nature seemed to be less ambitious or lazy compare to the city girls. I’ve never thought myself to be involved in the media. People that knows me always said, one day I will be a great teacher or some job that sounds stable or boring (no offense with teaching job!) And I used to picture myself as a teacher or in other tedious jobs. But, soon after I left my family and moved into big cites, like Seoul, Beijing, and New York- I realized how naive and shiftless I was. I saw how people stereotyped me as an Asian, Korean woman. So here I am! Although I am still struggling with defining myself and the role between media consumer and creator, I am chasing something new, unaccustomed so that would help me to figure out who really I am.
Advent of new technology, everything has changed: the new media created citizen journalism. Each individual person has influence in our society and I am no exception. As one of the "me media" publishers, I learned become an outsider is actually acceptable today; It is not wrong or afraid thing to speak out of own thoughts, and to be influential to the public. Thus I will see the opportunity to create/build a new context and culture by using this new technology and new media.
I really like the video; this theme of content is I’d like to work on in my future.
I created this for another class (last spring), I tried to explain myself and tried to figure out where is my position in the world of new media.