Breaking
the barriers!
I
remember one day in school when I was in the third grade. It was just an ordinary day in school; I didn’t
recall why my mom put a white lacy dress on me, but I recollect why I felt
weird- because no one dressed like me in school. As soon as I got to school, I realized I was
dressed “inappropriate”, I started feeling anxious and at the end of the day I cried
like a baby. I felt I was different (in
a weird way) with other girls in the classroom, and felt shame and embarrass by
hearing the classmates making fun of me. In their perspective I was an oddball who
loves princess costume (at that time I wore whatever what my mom dressed me,
and she loved to dress me in romantic flowery dresses, or skirts that rippling
with feminine ruffles and flounces). I
was mad at my mom for dressing me like that, and put me into a situation like
that. That was the first time I was
fully aware of the importance of appearance and other’s viewpoint.
Since
then, I felt really uncomfortable being in the spotlight, and people talking
about me behind my back, and since then, I’ve tried very hard to stay in the
crowd and not to stand out (and not to vocalize my thoughts). The culture I grew up is dominated by group culture;
most of the time individual value is ignored for the interests and needs of the
majority of the people. I am no exception- like mingling in the crowds, I feel much
more comfortable with being a mass audience. In other words, I chose to become
(or trained to be) a good media consumer rather a media maker or creator.
Yes,
I am not proud that I was born and raised in such circumstance. I’ve had
problem distinguishing or detach myself from others; I couldn’t define myself
as an individual entity. But, most of
the time I feel relieved that I am one of majority of the group, and not a black
sheep among the people.
Growing
up in a sequestered small town in Korea, my nature seemed to be less ambitious
or lazy compare to the city girls. I’ve
never thought myself to be involved in the media. People that knows me always said,
one day I will be a great teacher or some job that sounds stable or boring (no
offense with teaching job!) And I used
to picture myself as a teacher or in other tedious jobs. But, soon after I left my family and moved
into big cites, like Seoul, Beijing, and New York- I realized how naive and
shiftless I was. I saw how people stereotyped
me as an Asian, Korean woman. So here I
am! Although I am still struggling with defining myself and the role between
media consumer and creator, I am chasing something new, unaccustomed so that would
help me to figure out who really I am.
Advent
of new technology, everything has changed: the new media created citizen
journalism. Each individual person has
influence in our society and I am no exception. As one of the "me media" publishers,
I learned become an outsider is actually acceptable today; It is not wrong or
afraid thing to speak out of own thoughts, and to be influential to the public.
Thus I will see the opportunity to create/build a new context and culture by
using this new technology and new media.
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I really like the video; this theme of
content is I’d like to work on in my future.
I created this for another class (last
spring), I tried to explain myself and tried to figure out where is my position
in the world of new media.
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